Cliché: get a room

Meaning: suggestion to stop inappropriate displays of affection (example)


Rewrite 1: move it to the bedroom
Rewrite 2: should we get our own room?
Rewrite 3: put a wrap on that present and give it as a gift later
Rewrite 4: freeze that pose and we'll put it on display at the art museum
Rewrite 5: isn't that a scene written for film ... an X-rated film?


Comment: This cliché is usually repeated with some sarcasm, so the rewrites are presented in the same tone. 


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Retorts and other come-back lines
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Cliché: get a life

Meaning: focus on something more worthwhile (example)


Rewrite 1: get a new hobby
Rewrite 2: find a different obsession
Rewrite 3: joust with a different windmill 
Rewrite 4: dude, read a book, play a game, go into a coma, but drop this, okay?
Rewrite 5: Obi-Wan says, "This isn't the cause you were looking for...move along!"


Comment: This cliché is usually a put down, so I rewrote with that in mind.


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Things you wish you'd thought to say or write
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Cliché: get an earful, to

Meaning: hear a lot of feedback or ideas (example 1, example 2)


Rewrite 1: get an ear-jamming
Rewrite 2: heard enough to plug an ear
Rewrite 3: received enough suggestions to dam an ear canal
Rewrite 4: got an earache of ideas
Rewrite 5: received too much input - the other white noise


Comment: Although "get an earful" doesn't have to have a negative connotation, it often does. These are fairly neutral but all weigh in on the side of being overwhelmed.


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Speaking and writing more eloquently
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Cliché: make a federal case of

Meaning: blow something out of proportion (example 1, example 2)


Rewrite 1: go federal on me
Rewrite 2: appeal it to the high court
Rewrite 3: take me to the EPA
Rewrite 4: max the volume
Rewrite 5: peg my needle


Comment: I varied the references from law, to regulatory environment, to sound, to any kind of measurement where "peg" and "needle" refer to an analog metering device in which you want to keep the result below the red level and going into the red is called pegging. This provides a wide diversity of experiences. You can probably imagine many more.


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Words for making a federal case
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Cliché: filthy rich

Meaning: exceptionally rich, probably by dishonest means (example)


Rewrite 1: stenchly riches
Rewrite 2: fetid wealth
Rewrite 3: tainted pennies
Rewrite 4: rotted prosperity
Rewrite 5: a lode of ill repute


Comment: Most uses of this idiom haven't the connotation of ill favor. Likely, they think the "filthy" comes from how disgustingly dirty money becomes in its various visits to strange places.


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How to write for money people
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Effective Writing: A Handbook for Finance People

Cliché: fat as a cow (pig)

Meaning: literally, big as a cow (or pig), carrying excessive fat (example)


Rewrite 1: huge as a hippo
Rewrite 2: stout as a sumo
Rewrite 3: plump as an Easter feaster
Rewrite 4: big as a bassoon
Rewrite 5: corpulent as a vat of lard
Rewrite 6: wide as the rings of a big city circus


Comment: I varied the recast from big to fat to wide to provide ample examples.


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Professional writing
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Cliché: fall guy, the

Meaning: scapegoat, person who takes the fall or fault for something (example 1, example 2, example 3)


Rewrite 1: the faultee
Rewrite 2: the tag victim
Rewrite 3: the tar rag
Rewrite 4: Mr. take-it-for-the-team
Rewrite 5: winner, the blame game


Comment: These may be more obscure than "the fall guy" reference.


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Decoding obscure references
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Cliché: fair haired one (boy)

Meaning: favored or especially promising one or the favorite (example 1, example 2)


Rewrite 1: handsome-faced one
Rewrite 2: pretty-faced one
Rewrite 3: well proportioned one
Rewrite 4: well mannered one
Rewrite 5: mister do-no-wrong 
Rewrite 6: miss blemish-free


Comment: I couldn't find an original reference for this, but I suspect this idiom hearkens back to a fixation on kids with light colored or fair colored hair. Many such clichés stem from a jealousy of such people and so I tied my rewrites to people who are seen as favorites because of attributes tied to their looks and beyond their own control - fair hair, good looks, clear skin, good proportions. 


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Reading for sarcasm
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Cliché: fast buck, a

Meaning: easy money, often illegally gained (example 1, example 2)


Rewrite 1: a fast dollar
Rewrite 2: a quick nickel
Rewrite 3: fast finger funds
Rewrite 4: quick turn-around cash
Rewrite 5: magic money
Rewrite 6: now-you-see-it sums
Rewrite 7: dinero diablo (or devil money)


Comment: A fast buck can be earned quickly and easily plus legally. A kid who earns five bucks for plowing sidewalks in the winter makes a fast buck legally and morally, and the first two rewrites more support that notion.


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Turn a phrase, turn a few heads
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Cliché: fair weather friend, a

Meaning: a friend during the good times (example 1, example 2)


Rewrite 1: clear-sky buddy
Rewrite 2: sunny times acquaintance
Rewrite 3: open bar reveler
Rewrite 4: bonus time colleague
Rewrite 5: glowing review co-star


Comment: I tried to envision both a range of good times and of friends to provide plenty of examples. I'll bet you can think of even more. 


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Ideas for writing
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Cliché: chatty Cathy

Meaning: someone who won't stop talking (how to deal with, modern manners)


Rewrite 1: chattering Charlene
Rewrite 2: windy Wendy
Rewrite 3: gabby Gabe
Rewrite 4: wordy Warren
Rewrite 5: loquacious Lou
Rewrite 6: amiable Amy
Rewrite 7: genial Jen


Comments: Although this cliché often has a negative tone ("someone who won't shut up," defined the Urban Dictionary), it can also take on a more civil and appreciative feel, as when describing someone who is overly exuberant or gregarious. To suit the dual nature of the cliché, varied the second half of the rewrites.


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Meet the doll named for the jabbering person
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Cliché: early bird catches the worm, the

Meaning: assertiveness brings success (example)


Rewrite 1: first to the table gets the bacon
Rewrite 2: first across the finish line wins the medal
Rewrite 3: quickest to the buzzer wins the round
Rewrite 4: early to rise catches the first sun rays
Rewrite 5: best bargains go to the first inside the door
Rewrite 6: earlier worm escapes the beak


Comments: There are lots of ways to pose this cliché. The last rewrite is taking the opposite tactic to the original, a play on words really. Have some fun with it - turn a bird's tree on its branches.


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More on colloquialisms for more picturesque language
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Cliché: elephant in the room, the

Meaning: uncomfortable topic or presence that doesn't quite fit (example 1, example 2)


Rewrite 1: whale in the pool
Rewrite 2: rhino in the yard
Rewrite 3: yacht in the pond
Rewrite 4: refrigerator in the closet
Rewrite 5: donkey at the tea party


Comments: While the original cliché is about something big and cumbersome that doesn't get discussed, I've gone for something that's simply big and doesn't fit all the way to something that's perhaps an opposite and uncomfortable.


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Humorous language from our past
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Cliché: dirt cheap

Meaning: as inexpensive as plain old dirt (definition)


Rewrite 1: cheap as muck
Rewrite 2: dandelion cheap
Rewrite 3: crab-grass cheap
Rewrite 4: five-and-dime cheap
Rewrite 5: second-hand store cheap
Rewrite 6: greasy-spoon cheap


Comments: It's hard to be cheaper than ordinary dirt, so in that sense the original idiom is probably the most demonstrable of the point. However, there is lots of territory to explore on inexpensive or of less value. There is, of course, the potential to go too far.


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Writing or speaking unconventionally
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Cliché: everything (it all) comes out in the wash

Meaning: no permanent damage (example1, example 2)


Rewrite 1: everything washes out with soap and water
Rewrite 2: nothing can resist the wash-spin-rinse-spin cycle
Rewrite 3: no stain remains forever
Rewrite 4: grease a little elbow power will undo
Rewrite 5: a good wash undoes all stains
Rewrite 6: throw it in with the rest of your soiled laundry and let's make you clean


Comments: I've pretty much remained with the original washday motif. Another interpretation of the idiom that strikes me - and which originally guided me when I first saw this cliché - was that it meant nothing is hidden in the laundry, all your clothes with all their stains come out on laundry day. How might you write for that?


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Cliché: diamond in the rough, a

Meaning: someone lacking grace or refinement or with unpolished talent (example 1, example 2)


Rewrite 1: unbeveled diamond, an
Rewrite 2: unpolished stone, an
Rewrite 3: unvarnished oak
Rewrite 4: unchiseled granite
Rewrite 5: unsculpted marble
Rewrite 6: unrefined cotton


Comments: I went much further with this recasting than I thought I initially could. I'll bet there's even more you could accomplish.


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The art of rewriting
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Cliché: death by a thousand cuts

Meaning: a slow and painful loss (example)


Rewrite 1: death by a thousand needles
Rewrite 2: death by shrapnel
Rewrite 3: death by medical drip
Rewrite 4: loss of a thousand souls
Rewrite 5: bleeding by a thousand leeches
Rewrite 6: blinking away of a night's stars


Comments: Wasn't that morbid! I moved from methods of death to senses of loss, which are common uses of this cliché. Now I need a stiff drink.


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The "bible" for aspiring writers
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Cliché: doesn't have both oars in the water

Meaning: Not with it (example)


Rewrite 1: rowing short an oar
Rewrite 2: steering with a rudder at both ends
Rewrite 3: one boat short an oar
Rewrite 4: in a canoe with no paddles
Rewrite 5: driving a car with three flats


Comments: This is less about boats and oars than it is about being unbalanced, but I couldn't resist some of these stranger variations on the original theme.


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Cliché: like a broken record

Meaning: repeating the same thing over and over (example 1, example 2)


For: My good friend and colleague @CindyDroog (Say "Hi!" on Twitter)


Rewrite 1: like a campaign talking point
Rewrite 2: like a cheap TV ad run
Rewrite 3: like a keyboard stuck on "crap!"
Rewrite 4: like a Bill Murray Groundhog Day
Rewrite 5: like a broken app
Rewrite 6: like a corrupted file (or avi, wav, CD)
Rewrite 7: like a fragged disk


Comments: I've covered two issues here: Rewrites 1 through 4 for the original sense of the cliché and rewrites 5 through 7 which are ways to upgrade the idiom (although not necessarily the idea) for the changes in technology. 


If you're troubled by a cliché that I haven't slayed yet, I consider requests. Put it in a comment on this blog, or send me a tweet: @a_copywriter and I'll do my best! (Please check my "Alphabetic Listing" above first.)
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Just for the experience of it
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Cliché: dead as a doornail

meaning: lifeless or useless like a nail used in a door (example 1, example 2, example 3)


Rewrite 1: dead as a coffin nail
Rewrite 2: lifeless as a wood screw
Rewrite 3: dead as a deep winter's night
Rewrite 4: dead as a double shot in a bullseye
Rewrite 5: dead as a confederate dollar
Rewrite 6: dead as a tooth on the dentist's floor
Rewrite 7: dead as a Martian dune
Rewrite 8: dead as a basketball after the buzzer


Comments: In the first couple of rewrites I tried to stick with the heart of the cliché. Then I tried to provide some uses for "dead" beyond the strict meaning of death - and there are many! How many ways can you recast this classic cliché knowing how many more ways you can use the word "dead"?


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Working with more similes
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Similes Dictionary
Elyse Sommer (Hardcover - Apr 1988)

Cliché: the cat's whiskers

Meaning: defining good feature about something (example)


Rewrite 1: the dog's spots
Rewrite 2: the bird's song
Rewrite 3: the lion's mane
Rewrite 4: the dude's 'tude
Rewrite 5: the boa's hug


Comments: Another version defines this cliché as meaning superiority, so that's another possible rewrite or recasting opportunity.


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Using idioms to express yourself
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Cliché: can't squeeze blood out of a turnip

Meaning: You can't get something from a thing that doesn't have it (example)


Rewrite 1: can't squeeze orange juice out of an apple
Rewrite 2: can't squeeze milk out of barn wood
Rewrite 3: can't make a stack of nickels out of a pile of nails
Rewrite 4: can't tap maple syrup from an oak stump
Rewrite 5: can't tap the stream of a bottomless well


Comments: This cliché is usually said of trying to get money or value from someone who is broke or without resources; however, it is also said of trying to tap other resources that don't exist or make something of another thing that doesn't make sense. I've attempted to address all those senses.


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Need to add some humor to your writing?
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Cliché: (let's) face it

Meaning: confront the facts or the truth (example)


For: my good friend @maniactive (say "Hi!" on Twitter)


Rewrite 1: go nose-to-nose with the facts
Rewrite 2: get one-on-one with the truth
Rewrite 3: stare at the offending news
Rewrite 4: look the ugly monkey in the eye


Comment: "Face it" is usually an emotional response to exasperation or frustration or an in-your-face retort to baiting or taunting. At worst, it's given when we haven't a lot of time to spend defending our position or helping someone rationalize their disbelief. At best, it's provided when options are few. Often, it's become a habit-response like "ya know" or "so" at the beginning of a response. Adding "let's" at the front seems to be less confrontational, as an invitation to face the facts.


Although you can try some of these rewrites, if you're bothered by the habitual nature of using "face it" as a response, a better course might be to first wean yourself from it by substituting other similar phrases, like "Look,..." or "Face facts,..." or the more colloquial, "see the light" or "reality check!" Try rotating use among them. You'll become more aware of saying these things and it will be work trying to change. Over time, stop using each of the substitutes until you no longer use any of them. If you catch yourself saying, "Face it," immediately correct yourself, even if mentally. 


The other option for habitual use is to stop without adjusting (cold turkey, another cliché). I used to catch myself beginning a sentence with "Uh..." and I stopped myself by mentally catching myself and replaying the situation over in my head and later practicing what I said without the verbal lapse. You can do this in this situation, too. Practice giving answers without saying, "Face it" at the beginning.


I hope this helps!


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Cliché: big as life

Meaning: large, on a grand scale (example)


Rewrite 1: big as the genetic code
Rewrite 2: big as the biosphere
Rewrite 3: big as the sky and the ground it covers
Rewrite 4: large as the Amazon basin
Rewrite 5: as encompassing as the Yellowstone caldera
Rewrite 6: as grandiose as the Grand Canyon


Comment: To say something is "big as life" (or large as life) is to nearly complete the metaphor. It's hard to find equals to something that already states the case for size or completeness. Therefore, you go for ideas that still get across an immensity of size and scope, depending on the size and scope of the subject. It can be done.


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Learn your way around figures of speech
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Cliché: bee in her bonnet

Meaning: angry or upset (example)


Rewrite 1: bee in her bouffant
Rewrite 2: squirrel in her skirt
Rewrite 3: hive in the attic
Rewrite 4: rats in the trash can 


Comment: Think of vexing situations involving nature and you have an opportunity for a recast. I started close to the cliché and moved away from it, staying in the theme. Also, I found one other interpretation of the idiom: an obsessive idea, which I didn't address in the rewrite.


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Help with idioms
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Cliché: April Fools Day

Meaning: a day of playing pranks on the unsuspecting


Rewrite 1: April D-oh! Day
Rewrite 2: April Palm to Your Forehead Day
Rewrite 3: April Prank a Poor Soul Day
Rewrite 4: April People with Too Much Free Time on Their Hands Day
Rewrite 5: April People Who Aren't Half as Smart as They Think They Are Day


Comment: The term probably isn't much of a cliché, but the concept is. I personally hate the day as a waste of time, although there are some fairly genius and harmless pranks responsibly pulled. I offer this rewrite as an homage to them. The rest of you -- get a life! ;-)


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