Meaning: racing/competing for position (example 1, example2)
Rewrite 1: jockeying for show, place, or win
Rewrite 2: dancing for last couple standing
Rewrite 3: elbowing for a place in the line
Rewrite 4: fighting over bargains at the sale
Rewrite 5: toe-stretching for tallest
Comment: This really boils down to competition, and there are many ways to win. How would you reword it?
Give me a shout on Twitter: @a_copywriter
___
Write like a good sport
(commission may be paid on purchase)
Showing posts with label sports cliches. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sports cliches. Show all posts
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Cliché: it's a game of inches
Meaning: a sport or effort with minimal gains or losses
Rewrite 1: it's a game of small advances
Rewrite 2: it's a game of not-quite-theres
Rewrite 3: it's a contest of minor gains
Rewrite 4: it's a match of major disappointments
Rewrite 5: it's a sport of near misses
More possible rewrites:
Rewrite 6: a game of barely movable objects
Rewrite 7: a game of well planted heels
Rewrite 8: a game of well defended options
Rewrite 9: a game of steel-staked positions
Rewrite 10: a game of hard fought lines
Rewrite 11: a contest of won'ts
Rewrite 12: a match between wills
Comment: This was a tough rewrite for me, trying to find new ways to recast the "inches" in a meaningful way. In the end, I decided to redefine the end-product and not the measurement. In the send batch of rewrites, I wrote about less sports-related efforts. Where would you have taken this?
Join me on Twitter: @a_copywriter
____
Speaking of sports
(commission may be paid on purchase)
Rewrite 1: it's a game of small advances
Rewrite 2: it's a game of not-quite-theres
Rewrite 3: it's a contest of minor gains
Rewrite 4: it's a match of major disappointments
Rewrite 5: it's a sport of near misses
More possible rewrites:
Rewrite 6: a game of barely movable objects
Rewrite 7: a game of well planted heels
Rewrite 8: a game of well defended options
Rewrite 9: a game of steel-staked positions
Rewrite 10: a game of hard fought lines
Rewrite 11: a contest of won'ts
Rewrite 12: a match between wills
Comment: This was a tough rewrite for me, trying to find new ways to recast the "inches" in a meaningful way. In the end, I decided to redefine the end-product and not the measurement. In the send batch of rewrites, I wrote about less sports-related efforts. Where would you have taken this?
Join me on Twitter: @a_copywriter
____
Speaking of sports
(commission may be paid on purchase)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)