Monday, January 24, 2011

Cliché: I'm not getting any younger

Meaning: impatience; literally, I'm getting old waiting for you (example)

Rewrite: you take so long, my wrinkles are getting bigger than my boobs
Rewrite: I'm on my second pair of dentures waiting for you
Rewrite: the seasons seem to come and go with you
Rewrite: you might think I'm looking for dirt under my nails; I'm actually watching them grow
Rewrite: my alarm clock is having a nervous breakdown over here

Comment: Is it me, or does this sound like Billy Crystal playing the old man saying these lines? It isn't intentional. Maybe it's because the original idiom is kind of a punch line, anyway.

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