cliché: be there or be square

Meaning: direction to conform or be out of step with the cool people (definition).

Example: Dude, everybody who’s anybody will be at the party – be there or be square!

Origins: Its roots evolved over the last couple of centuries, but the cliché takes root in 1940s-50s with jazz as a reference to the square as something that followed an established order turned into one that was confined by that order and not “with it” or “cool.” (Source 1. Source 2.)

Rewrites:

• be there or be contraire
• be there or lose your cool
• be there or be drool
• be there or be outta here
• be there or never be here
• be one of us or never be one of us
• come along to get along

Discussion: There is a lot of room to work with here for a rewrite. There is the rhyme, coolness, conformity, inclusion – this cliché is rich with opportunity for rework.

cliché: bats in the belfry

Meaning: crazy or eccentric behavior.

Example: Swerving across three lanes of busy traffic, he must have been navigating with bats in his belfry.

Origins: 1900s American authors of various genre.

Definition and Origins Source.

Rewrites:

• bats in the tower
• squirrels in the attic
• spiders in the crown
• monkeys in the museum
• gremlins in the observatory

Discussion: This is about erratic behavior, so a rewrite should be about erratic-acting animals in tall or stable places.

cliché: banging your head against a brick wall

Meaning: repetitively doing something that will result in no positive effect (definition).

Example: My son had already made up his mind, and trying to change his decision was like banging my head against a brick wall.

Origins: Could not find one.

Rewrites:

• hitting your head against a cement wall
• yelling at a brick wall
• sparring with a brick wall
• having a staring contest with a masonry wall

Discussion: I was really surprised that I couldn’t find an origin for this one, but I suspect it’s buried in some English garden. The meaning is apparent, without an origin.

cliché: a basket case

Meaning: One who is of a hopeless or useless physical or mental state (definition).

Example: He was so upset by the accident, he had become a mental basket case.

Origins: World War I, describing a soldier who returned from war having lost both arms and both legs. (Source.) Offensive slang. (Source.)

Rewrites:

• N/A

Discussion: I’m going to take the unusual step of suggesting we not rewrite this cliché but because of its offensive nature we discard it. Offensive why? Because it treats the physically or mentally disabled as “hopeless” and “useless” instead of as honored and hopeful members of society. Even in its original use, officials used the term to deny that such individuals even existed. I suggest we deny the offense and not describe anyone in these or similar terms.

cliché: a barn burner

Meaning: something that causes a lot of interest or excitement (definition).

Example: The championship game between the top two contenders was a real barn burner.

Origins: American 1835-45, reference to burning down a barn to get rid of rats and the attention it causes. (Source.)

Rewrites:

• a barn razer
• a tower toppler
• a bridge dropper
• a roof collapser
• a sky blazer
• a river blocker

Discussion: While these don’t all have the same origins as a barn burning, they likely would all get public attention and acclaim.

cliché: baptism by fire

(also, baptism of fire)

Meaning: an ordeal, especially of martyrdom; soldier’s first battle experiences (definition).

Example: On his first day, the customer service rep faced a first rate consumer rage call, an epic baptism of fire.

Origins: First used in French to reference a soldier’s experience in battle, 1822. Also Biblical references. (Source.)

Rewrites:

• baptism by conflagration
• blessing by bayonet
• passion by ambush
• ecstasy by battle
• immersion by Armageddon
• purification by scrabble

Discussion: There are a couple of different ways to go with this idiom. Be inventive.

cliché: bank on it

Meaning: do with certainty (definition).

Example: Her recipe for cherry pie is a winner, you may bank on it.

Origins: Late 1800s; alludes to banks as a place of safe storage for money. (Source.)

Rewrites:

• deposit on it
• invest with it
• secure a loan with it
• bet your house on it
• build a career on it
• give a blind date a second call over it

Discussion: This rewrite is about being so confident in something that you can move ahead as you would in other interactions of life with confidence.

cliché: the whole ball of wax

Meaning: everything inclusive (definition).

Example: The book contains everything you want to know about the topic, the whole ball of wax.

Origins: Uncertain, but first recorded in 9^th edition of Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, 1953. Associated with advertising usage. May also have origins in old English estate law as a way to assign inheritance. (Source.)

Rewrites:

• the whole block of beeswax
• the whole wad of gum
• the entire lump of coal
• the bursting cache of trash
• the rich roll of cash
• the full load of laundry
• entire wall with cracks, dents, and all

Discussion: With no clear origins on which to draw for inspiration, I’ll break it down into parts – “ball of wax”, “whole ball”, “ball”, “wax”, etc. 

All you ever might want to know about wax from Candle Cauldron and Rotblatt Sculpture.

cliché: a bald faced liar

Meaning: undisguised or brazen liar (definition).

Example: The bald faced liar, it was as if his lie was his show of contempt.

Origin: 1640-1650 but with no explanation. Self-explanatory with expression? (Source.)

Rewrites:

• bare faced liar
• open faced liar
• wide faced liar
• plain faced liar
• blunt mugged liar
• simple looking liar
• wide-eyed liar

Discussion: Sometimes confused with bold faced liar, though they have slightly different meanings.

cliché: bait and switch

Meaning: sales technique or ploy of offering something of higher value then encouraging the other person to accept something of lesser value (definition).

Example: First he offered me free tickets to the movies, then he pulled a bait and switch and offered me full-price tickets to the opera.

Origin: Bait used since 1300, switch used since 1890s but pairing of two dates from 1920s. (Source.)

Rewrites:

• carrot and stick
• dangle and tangle
• deal and steal
• promise and pretense

Discussion: The original was pretty descriptive, but with a little imagination we can re-establish some of the feeling of having the deal ripped away from you. I also recognize that “carrot and stick” can be a cliché, but it’s usually a metaphor for reward and punishment, not for breaking a deal, so I think we can reuse it here effectively.

cliché: bag and baggage

Meaning: all one’s possessions (definition).

Example: They reproduced the entire household, bag and baggage.

Origins: Precedes contemporary English, as found in Rymer’s Foedera, 1422. Earliest English is 1525, Shakespeare in 1600. (Source.)

Rewrites:

• bags and boxes
• cabinets and drawers
• nooks, crannies, and corners
• house and storage
• house, basement, and garage

Discussion: The idea in this idiom is to express where someone carries or masses their belongings. 

cliché: bad to the bone

Meaning: thoroughly bad (definition).


Example: The thief stole even their last roll of toilet paper; he was bad to the bone.

Origins: “to the bone” = as completely as possible, based on trimming all the meat from a bone, leaving no waste. (Source: Cambridge Dictionary of American Idioms, page 38.)


Rewrites:

• crummy to the core
• bastard to the bone
• mean to the marrow
• rotten to the root
• bad to the board foot

Discussion: The meaningful root to explore turned out to be “to the bone.” When I researched the full idiom, I kept getting pushed to the 1980’s song by Thoroughgood, yet found nothing of value on the idiom’s origins. When I researched the root, an idiom in its own right, that’s when I found this source. 

I tried to retain the minor alliterative nature of the idiom. There are surely many other ways to rewrite this cliché without that stricture.

cliché: a bad seed

Meaning: someone or something that is a bad influence or produces bad results (definition).


Example: Always getting into mischief, the youth was the bad seed of a troubled family.

Origins: Biblical references to the effect of sewing seed in fields. (Source.)


Rewrites:

• a flawed seed
• a wayward seed
• a seed of no good character
• a withered planting
• a pit with no future
• a fruitless fount
• an ill-gained grain
• an unproductive kernel
• a profitless pip

Discussion: Some definitions prescribe a genetic element as the source of poor production, but the usage I’m familiar with makes no such association, unless it’s simply understood.

cliché: a bad hair day

Meaning: literally an untidy-hair day; also a disagreeable day. (definitions).

Example: Nothing was going well, it struck me I was having a bad hair day.

Origins: Literal use of words, became popular saying 1990-1995. (Source.)

Rewrites:

• a pillow hair day
• a convertible-air hair day
• a knobby sweater day
• a chipped tooth day
• an open zipper day

Discussion: Many of these define bad hair, others define a bad day.

cliché: a bum rap

Meaning: unfair blame or criticism (definition).

Example: The website got a bum rap for being difficult to reach, which was the result of a DOS attack.  (examples.)

Origins: bum as an adjective means of poor quality or useless, 19^th century; rap as a term for criminal charge comes circa 1865 (History1. History 2.) 

Rewrites:

• bum blame
• bum slam
• twisted rap
• lame critique
• cheap lip
• stretched bitch

Discussion: I have gone from very close to the original to very far from it but still encasing the meaning. This one took some work with a thesaurus.

cliché: bad blood

Meaning: animosity between people (definition).

Example: A good fence often keeps bad blood between neighbors from escalating into a good war.

Origins: Blood and emotions; among first uses, Essays of Elia by Charles Lamb in 1823. (Source.)

Rewrites:

• foul blood
• tainted blood
• bile in the blood
• vein hatred
• ill tempered muscle
• fury in the guts

Discussion: I have tried to rework both the concept of emotion and where that emotion resides. 

cliché: back to the drawing board

Meaning: restart from the beginning (definition).

Example: When the project failed, the boss said, “back to the drawing board, team.”

Origins: New Yorker magazine cartoon in 1941. (Source.) 

Rewrites:

• back to the drafting table (sketch book)
• start over with clean paper
• fresh doodle-pad, lads
• lets refresh with a mental reboot
• sharpen the wits and freshen the creative juices
• go out the door and come back in like this idea never happened

Discussion: How might we rewrite this to reflect the switch over to generating ideas on computer screens?

cliché: back to square one

Meaning: return to the beginning; start again.

Example: If this experiment doesn’t yield the answer, we’ll have to go back to square one.

Origins: Various possibilities: English football broadcasts, board games, or hopscotch.

  (Definitions and origins.)

  (Examples.)

Rewrites:

• revisit square one
• back to “Start”
• back to launch
• time to reboot
• reset to zero

Discussion: I mainly worked with the board game scenario, since that seems to me to be the most apt metaphor. 

cliché: a backstabber

Meaning: to attack someone unfairly (definition). 

Example: As a co-worker reporting discreetly to the boss, she was a backstabber scuttling his career.

Origins: From 1920’s, one who acts behind someone’s back or “stabs your back.” (Source 1. Source 2.) 

Rewrites: 

• a blindside attacker
• an ear thumper
• a kidney puncher
• a heel scraper or crusher
• a ponytail dipper or grabber

Discussion: I struggled to find something closer to “back stabber” but didn’t come up with anything. Perhaps you will?

cliché: a back seat driver

Meaning: one who criticizes from the sidelines (definition).

Example: From the other side of the counter, Marge made continual suggestions on how to mix the recipe, in her typical role as back-seat driver.

Origins: From the modern day automobile passenger who freely comments on the driving habits of drivers. (Source.)

Rewrites

• back seat adviser
• rumble seat supervisor
• rear seat moderator
• coach seat pilot
• over-the-shoulder editor
• offsite oversight
• blind guide 

Discussion: Not sure these are all equivalent rewrites, but they all give a flavor of the metaphor intended.