Showing posts with label recasting cliches. Show all posts
Showing posts with label recasting cliches. Show all posts

Friday, February 04, 2011

Cliché: in harm's way

Meaning: making yourself available to be harmed (example)


Rewrite 1: in harm's glide path
Rewrite 2: on harm's playground
Rewrite 3: on harm-friendly grounds
Rewrite 4: playing on harm's turf
Rewrite 5: right where harm wants you


Comment: There was plenty of room to work using just harm as the central keyword, but I'd like to see what you might come up with for words other than harm.


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Writing about crime
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Monday, January 24, 2011

Cliché: I'm not getting any younger

Meaning: impatience; literally, I'm getting old waiting for you (example)


Rewrite: you take so long, my wrinkles are getting bigger than my boobs
Rewrite: I'm on my second pair of dentures waiting for you
Rewrite: the seasons seem to come and go with you
Rewrite: you might think I'm looking for dirt under my nails; I'm actually watching them grow
Rewrite: my alarm clock is having a nervous breakdown over here


Comment: Is it me, or does this sound like Billy Crystal playing the old man saying these lines? It isn't intentional. Maybe it's because the original idiom is kind of a punch line, anyway.


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Use humor in your writing
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Monday, January 17, 2011

Cliché: bet dollars to doughnuts, I'll

Meaning: bet something of significance against something less significant (example)


Rewrite: bet dollars to dimes
Rewrite: bet hub caps to lug nuts
Rewrite: bet Cadillacs to Yugos
Rewrite: bet screws to glue sticks
Rewrite: bet gallons to pints
Rewrite: bet trees to saplings


Comment: There's present here a confidence that you're betting something of higher value against something of lesser value because you're going to win.


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Just what do those idioms mean?
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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Cliché: if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times

Meaning: frustration at having to repeat something too often (example)


Rewrite 1: I must be in an echo chamber, I'm saying it again!
Rewrite 2: I could swear I've heard me say this before
Rewrite 3: Let me say it for the thousand-and-first time...
Rewrite 4: maybe you didn't hear it the first thousand times
Rewrite 5: I've said this hundreds of times already, but let me repeat one last time for effect


Comment: There's a lot of sarcasm present in these rewrites, perhaps because the original is so close to stating the case with only some exaggeration. Can you say this in a meaningful way without sarcasm?


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Some writing calls for sarcasm
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Monday, January 03, 2011

Cliché: ice water in his veins

Meaning: cold reserve such that nothing bothers him (example)


Rewrite 1: Arctic water in his veins
Rewrite 2: glacier runoff in his arteries
Rewrite 3: cold beer in his pipes
Rewrite 4: refrigerator coolant in his lungs
Rewrite 5: running on freezing rain and hailstones
Rewrite 6: oozes smoothies through his heart


Comment: I'm thinking very cold and very slow to excite.


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Getting back to nature
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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Cliché: hump day

Meaning: Wednesday, day mid-week that gets you over the "hump" (example)


Rewrite 1: camel back day
Rewrite 2: road bump day
Rewrite 3: leaf pile day
Rewrite 4: Bell Curve day
Rewrite 5: high jump day
Rewrite 6: leap frog day


Comment: At first I thought of other kinds of humps or bumps or piles you get over, then I thought of obstacles you go over to get to the other side. There are lots of creative ways to say "I'm half way over the week."


Stop by for some conversation on Twitter: @a_copywriter
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For when you run out of words
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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Cliché: get into hot water

Meaning: get into trouble (example)


Rewrite: gulp hot coffee
Rewrite: dive into boiling water
Rewrite: skinny dip in a scalding pool
Rewrite: ride some white water
Rewrite: cross a river at a deep spot


Comment: There are lots of ways to use water as a metaphor for getting into trouble and I've attempted to use some of them here.


Come say hello on Twitter: @a_copywriter
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How they might say it at sea
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Monday, December 27, 2010

Cliché: hot enough to fry an egg

Meaning: ambient or surface temperature is extreme


Rewrite 1: hot enough to steam an egg
Rewrite 2: hot enough to fry a burger
Rewrite 3: hot enough to grill a cheese sandwich
Rewrite 4: hot enough to broil a steak
Rewrite 5: hot enough to melt steel
Rewrite 6: so hot you could prep s'mores on the sidewalk!


Comment: It's usually said to indicate how hot a surface is, such as a sidewalk or car hood, but it could also apply to how hot the air is or how hot the day is.


Find me on Twitter to share your rewrites: @a_copywriter
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More about food and drink in speech
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Friday, December 24, 2010

Cliché: happy holidays

Whatever faith or tradition is dear to you, may you experience the joy of this special season. Merry Christmas. Happy Kwanzaa. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Festivus. Although "happy holidays" has become a cliché in many ways, it is always meant to express wishes for a time of joy in a spirit of good will. 


May peace, good will, and joy be yours now and into the coming new year.


Alan Eggleston (Wordsworth) and family
"How to Slay a Cliché"

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Cliché: horsing around

Meaning: improper, unruly behavior (example)


Rewrite 1: making like caged monkeys
Rewrite 2: running with the fools
Rewrite 3: bouncing around like cage fighters on sugar
Rewrite 4: careening around like a European road rally driver
Rewrite 5: having a Black Friday freak-out


Comment: I always associated this idiom with playful unruliness, but I can see it getting out-of-hand and becoming more destructive, so I've attempted to treat the various degrees of unruliness here. Feel free to take it to whatever extreme you need to fit your need. 


When you're on Twitter, stop by and say hello: @a_copywriter
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A little horse sense with idioms
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Thursday, December 16, 2010

Cliché: hook, line, and sinker

Meaning: completely (example)


Rewrite 1: bait, line, and switch
Rewrite 2: site, link, and virus
Rewrite 3: hook, line, and spam
Rewrite 4: text, headline, and disclaimer
Rewrite 5: spine, cover, and pages
Rewrite 6: cereal, box, and special offer


Comment: Although in usage this usually takes on the connotation of "being had," it can also have the more denotative meaning of "getting it all." I tried to cover both here.


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The art of the sell
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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Cliché: hit the nail on the head

Meaning: to be exact (example)


Rewrite 1: hit the thumb on the nail
Rewrite 2: slotted the screw square
Rewrite 3: fed the thread through the needle, first try
Rewrite 4: pinned the tail on the donkey square on the ass
Rewrite 5: walked a line so fine even a tailor couldn't stitch cleaner




Comment: This one was a challenge, thinking of other ways to express manual exactitude. What did I miss?


If you're ever on Twitter, stop by and say hello: @a_copywriter
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Making it easier to talk carpentry metaphors
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Monday, December 13, 2010

Cliché: hit the hay, to

Meaning: go to bed (example)


Rewrite 1: hit the bale
Rewrite 2: hit the mattress
Rewrite 3: cuddle with the pillows
Rewrite 4: ruffle the linens
Rewrite 5: snuggle in z's
Rewrite 6: join the bed buds


Comment: I went for more colloquial wording here.


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Write more picturesquely
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Friday, December 10, 2010

Cliché: hit below the belt, to

Meaning: hurtful, unfair hit (example 1, example 2)


Rewrite 1: going for the groin
Rewrite 2: nuking the no-hit zone
Rewrite 3: knock-out punch between the side pockets
Rewrite 4: aiming for the target of last resort
Rewrite 5: landing one that will make everyone wince 


Comment: This interpretation favors the end-product or area versus the intention. How would you rewrite it differently to suggest someone is intentionally dealing unfairly?


Please say hello on Twitter: @a_copywriter
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How to play fair in everyday living
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Thursday, December 09, 2010

Cliché: the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing

Meaning: lack of coordination (example)


Rewrite 1: the left hand and right hand refuse to shake
Rewrite 2: the left hand and right hand aren't talking
Rewrite 3: the left hand is signing Latin, the right hand is signing Greek
Rewrite 4: the left hand is lost and the right hand won't ask for directions
Rewrite 5: the left side of the brain doesn't know what the right side of the brain is thinking
Rewrite 6: the cows don't know what the horses are doing



Comment: The last one kind of comes out of left field, but I wanted something different that still illustrated the point.

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Bringing the hands together
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Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Cliché: his bark is worse than his bite

Meaning: not as big a threat as they sound (example 1, example 2)


Rewrite 1: its growl is worse than its pounce
Rewrite 2: his scream is worse than his karate chop
Rewrite 3: her silence is worse than her slap
Rewrite 4: her threat is worse than her payback
Rewrite 5: the "crack" is worse than the wound


Comment: This covers a wide assortment of situations, evolving from a dog, to a cat, to a Ninja, to a scorned woman, to an angered competitor, to a gun.


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(book reference removed)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Cliché: hindsight is 20-20

Meaning: better seen after the fact (example


Rewrite 1: rear-view vision is 20-20
Rewrite 2: hindsight is keener vision
Rewrite 3: foreseen with perfect hindsight
Rewrite 4: seen with the precision of past experience
Rewrite 5: this time you'd do it with prescience
Rewrite 6: rose tinted glasses have nothing on lenses calibrated for the past

Comment: This one was immeasurably harder to rewrite than I imagined. How would you rewrite it?


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Revising fiction
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Thursday, November 04, 2010

Cliché: highway robbery

Meaning: overly high fees (example 1, example 2)


Rewrite 1: bank mugging
Rewrite 2: credit card hold-up
Rewrite 3: middle class jacking
Rewrite 4: desperation taxation
Rewrite 5: economic pickpocketing


Comment: Rather than trying to parallel each part of the original terms as I often do, this time I tried to stay true to the sense of the whole idiom and recast that.


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More about writing and money
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Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Cliché: high maintenance

Meaning: needs a lot of care/attention (example 1, example 2)


Rewrite 1: High steady-state rate
Rewrite 2: High keeping-up-with-the-Joneses mantra
Rewrite 3: Max-out-the-cards care
Rewrite 4: Major wallet-drain pain
Rewrite 5: 24-karat spending habit 


Comment: At first, I had trouble with this one. I was on the verge of putting it off for another time, when I suddenly found my stride. 


Give me your 2-cents worth here and on Twitter: @a-copywriter
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Learn about high-maintenance relationships
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Friday, October 29, 2010

Cliché: high as a kite

Meaning:  intoxicated (example)



Rewrite 1: High as a crop duster
Rewrite 2: High as a loon
Rewrite 3: Tumbling in the clouds
Rewrite 4: Partying past Everest
Rewrite 5: Flying with the Shuttle


Comment: I tried to give some sense of the euphoria of intoxication accompanied with a sense of being above board. Some of it has a double entendre nature to it. How would you rewrite or recast this cliché and keep its dual nature? 


Feel free to discuss this on Twitter, too: @a_copywriter
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More double entendres
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